Standing at the Threshold: A Reflective Day of the Dead

Hello everyone, and happy Day of the Dead. Last night was Halloween, and I hope everyone had a fun time out or a relaxing time in.

Now, I know some of you may be wondering why I’m wishing you a happy Day of the Dead. Or you may feel uneasy about yesterday’s and today’s informal holidays for personal belief reasons, but I do love these days and this time of year. The reason is that despite the tradition of using New Year’s to make resolutions, this is the natural time of year to start reflecting.

The Natural Cycle of Life

If you consider the natural world, our planet experiences a whole life cycle every 365 days. There is new life in spring in new shoots and buds. There is vibrancy and productivity in summer as the plants grow and mature. There is fall when the harvest comes in, and the plants turn their energy toward preparing for the next year by going to seed or storing energy in roots and bulbs. Lastly, there is winter when it is time to rest. Plants go dormant or die off, but having fulfilled their purpose and made preparations for new life again when spring comes back around.

We are part of the natural world whether we like it or not, and just like with plants, we have our own seasons of life. Traditionally, in Northern European culture, today wasn’t just about remembering or honoring one’s dead for the whole of winter was considered a time of year when the spirit world drew closer to the living. But today, the Day of the Dead, was special as it marked the threshold for that time. A time that is not yet winter, but harvest is wrapping up. A time when we transition from the vibrancy and productivity of life and begin to finalize our preparation for deep winter.

Reflecting on the Past Year and More

I like to imagine, on this day, that I’m standing in a doorway looking back and reflecting on the year as honestly as I can. Was it all I wanted it to be? Did I accomplish what I set out to do? Are there some improvements or changes I want to make before the end of the year? Then I look forward and ask, “What do I want for the next year?” And just like that, I take some time and apply this same imagining exercise to my life as a whole, seeing the past for what it was and what I learned from it, and visualizing the dreams, hopes, and plans I have for the rest of it. I also take a moment and look toward the very end. For someday, I will have my winter like everything else in this world, and what does that look like as well?

The Importance of End-of-Life Planning and Open Communication

One thing I have learned in healthcare, among other things, is that we cannot be successful in achieving a healthcare goal unless we take the time to visualize and decide what that goal is, including our goals for the end. Death is not taboo in medicine; we see it and deal with it often. Those of us who have been in healthcare for a time realize that is a natural part of life, but also that it is rarely well prepared for.

Part of that fault lies in our culture. I don’t know when speaking about the end of life became so uncomfortable to us as a society, but it has. Another part of the fault, I believe, lies in the medical community. We have not done a good job of being open and communicative as a whole. However, if you were to eavesdrop on coworker conversations in the hospital, you might be surprised at all the somewhat morbid and unabashed discussions about death and dying we have with no seeming discomfort at all. But we don’t share that same report with our patients. We tiptoe around the subject much of the time because we don’t know how someone will react.

Yet, by having open conversations about death and dying, I believe we can instill more compassion and understanding in our society. I believe we can help alleviate fears and anxieties by having open communication without stigmatization and normalizing asking the important questions of ourselves and others:

• What legacy do we want to leave behind?

• How can we ensure our wishes are honored?

• How can we approach end-of-life with peace and dignity?

Truly, preparing for the end is the greatest work all of us will do to realize our individual goals for our health and our lives. I heard a quote once along the lines of “If you know how to die, then you know how to live,” and I don’t just believe this; I’ve seen this. Every patient that I have ever had that knew what they wanted in the end demonstrated this to me wholeheartedly over and over again. They met pain and illness with peace and graciousness because they’d taken the time to think seriously about their health and the end of their lives, and they had made their decisions. I have never met people who were so fulfilled, who smiled and laughed with their family and friends all the way to the end, and when they moved on, their life was celebrated.

I know I want to be like that. I hope that when my time comes, I will leave surrounded by loved ones, but even if I don’t I want to know I have contributed to this world in a positive way and had a life worth celebrating.

A Call to Action and to Remember

Today, I will dwell a little on the lives of my loved ones and patients who I saw achieve a fulfilled life and dignified end. I will take their examples to heart and consider not just my year, but my life so that I may have a clear direction for what I want both for my life and the health of the body I journey this life in.

So, if you will be brave with me a little today, let us remember not just our loved ones, but our past year and our lives. Let’s stand together on that threshold of this season and ask ourselves, “Was it all I wanted it to be? Did I accomplish what I set out to do? Are there some improvements or changes I want to make before the end of the year or the end of my life?” Then let’s look forward and ask, “What do I want for the next year? What do I want for my end?”

Today, let us honor our cycle of life and consider how we should die so that we may learn how to live.

Happy Day of the Dead 2024

Disclaimer: This article may contain affiliate links. This article is based on personal experience and the opinions of the writer(s). No information in this article may be taken as a substitute for personalized advice from an appropriately licensed healthcare professional.